In Time
by KDMOSP
Summary: A devastating diagnosis can prove just how strong you have to be, often when you feel at your weakest.( JJ is diagnosed with terminal cancer. )
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I apologize for my lack of updates in my other stories, I have been soooo sick. But I will update them as soon as I can!**

**Also: for this story, please, please keep in mind I am not a doctor, I am not a nurse. In fact the only medical training I have had is if something goes wrong… find a nurse. Keep that in mind as you read this story. I've researched a lot, but Google can only provide so much information on a topic before it gets to a point that I have no clue what they are talking about.**

**This is from Will's perspective. ENJOY**

You sit in the family waiting room, unable to move, unable to do much of anything. You have been here for going on four hours and have yet to hear anything. It is driving you insane. You force yourself to look up and see your wife's team gathering in the small room. You know it had been killing them not to be there, but they were so close to catching a monster. You know JJ would want them out in the field, and you knew they would be there as soon as possible.

You know they want the news, any update on their friend

And you know it isn't good; you knew that from the moment you got that dreaded phone call from Hotch. You had been at lunch with your son when the phone had rung, and as soon as you saw the name on the caller-ID your heart dropped to your stomach. Hotch never called you and so with a shaky breath you answered it; hoping he was not about to tell you your worst nightmare. Hoping he wasn't about to say the words that had haunted your dreams.

He didn't. Instead he told you simply to get to the emergency room, that JJ was very sick- there was no bullet wounds or injuries from an unsub- they simply did not know what had happened. He could only tell you that JJ had a massive seizure, that she had stopped breathing, that the medics had been forced to intubate her. Other than that, he had nothing.

You sit up and stretch your back, needing to move around a bit and think back to your wife; wondering if you had missed anything; anything that could have clued you into the medical emergency. You had told the ER doctor that JJ had been complaining of a headache, nausea and had been vomiting lately, but she was persistent in saying she was okay. You didn't push it; and thinking back on it, you probably should have.

"Will." You turn at the sound of your name to see Morgan handing you a hot cup of coffee.

"Thank you." You nod at him; your thoughts still going a million miles a second.

You look around and decide you need to inform them of what is going on. Everyone is there, Hotch and Garcia, Morgan, Blake, Reid and Rossi and you cannot express your gratitude enough for them.

"I spoke with the ER doctor earlier." you begin, having not wanted to have to do this, but realized you need to. They deserve to know; they are looking to you for answers, and you only have a tiny bit of information for them. "It's not good." You whisper, fighting back the tears. "JJ seized again when the paramedics brought her in and has continued to do so. They have sedated her so that they can figure out what is going on. The doc sent JJ to an MRI." You choke a bit, knowing where this is where it would get hard. "The MRI showed that JJ…" you pause and you look up seeing the faces of your friends looking back at you. They know where this is going. "JJ has at least one brain tumor, the MRI showed possibly one more."

"JJ has cancer?" You hear Garcia whisper.

"They don't know yet, they took her straight up to surgery to try and remove what they can." You close your eyes. "They think the tumor is causing the seizures, that there is too much pressure on her brain right now."

You look back up at them and see tears in some of their eyes and know deep down, it's only going to get worse. You know what the doctors and surgeons have told you and you simply cannot voice it right now; and call it martial instinct you dread seeing the doctor again. You know they are going to diagnosis your wife, your JJ with cancer. And you know you will be there holding her hand, by her side for whatever fight is about to come.

And two hours later, when the neurosurgeon comes out and asks to speak with you, you collapse into a chair, next to Hotch. The neurosurgeon takes your hand and you see the tears in her eyes as she tells you that she was not able to remove most of the tumor; that to do so what put JJ's life in even more jeopardy.

And when she tells you that they have sent the tumor off for testing, to confirm her suspicions, you cannot help the tears that begin to fall.

"Does she have Cancer?" You find yourself asking the skilled doctor. And the look she returns tells you everything.

"I wish I could say I don't think so." She whispers. "And I cannot confirm it until we get the results back; but what I see now, what I have seen today, yes, Agent Jareau does have cancer." And your whole world crashes down around you.


	2. Fighter

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your support on this story! A special thank you to Snuggleup for the guidance! ENJOY!**

The first time you get to see your wife, you break down. The medical staff had warned you about her condition, tried to describe to you what she might look like, but nothing could prepare you for what you saw. Of all the words the staff had used: lifeless, pale, sedated, blood- they forgot the one word you saw in your wife right now. They forgot brave. They forgot strong, they forgot JJ.

"Oh Jayje" You whisper as you take her hand in yours, mindful of the IV. You don't try and hold back the tears, you just let it happen. "You look beautiful." You whisper as you stroke her hand, to afraid to touch her head; the last thing you want to do is hurt her.

"Mr. LaMontagne." You turn to see one of the nurses come in. "I just need to check in." She smiles softly and you nod giving permission to do so.

"She's bleeding." You tell the woman as you look at the white gauze that is circling her head.

"Yes. And she will for a bit, it is perfectly normal. We plan on changing the dressings every hour." She explains and you feel a bit of relief.

"When." You pause as the machine beeps. "How long before she can breathe on her own?"

When the nurse drops her gaze and lowers her voice, you dread the words that will come from her. "Agent Jareau is very, very ill, sir. She has a number of concerns right now, and to be honest, the main goal right now is to help alleviate some of the pressure on her brain. Her risk of infection is astronomical right now because of the invasive procedure to her brain. We need to keep her sedated for a bit, to help her body begin to recover."

You look away, at the tube that is secured in place by tape. "Right now, Mr. LaMontagne, I cannot give an accurate time frame for when we will be able to safely extubate her." Her voice is kind and you can tell she has done this numerous times before. "But I can tell you, Dr. Mayer has placed an order for a tube that will allow for Agent Jareau to eat. It's a catheter that is slipped down her nose, and into her stomach."

The reality is starting to hit you, how sick JJ really is. "Will she feel it?" You ask and the nurse immediately shakes her head.

"No, most likely not. "

You lick your lips and suddenly you feel the need to run, to vomit, to escape. "I.." You stand up, and immediately, your legs give out on you and you collapse back into the chair.

The nurse is immediately at your side, rubbing your shoulder as she calls for assistance. "Mr. LaMontagne, are you alright?" She leans down and you see her nametag, Erin.

You nod and a cup of water is handed to you. "Here, drink." She commands.

"We have a son." You tell her, your hands shaking. "A little boy, his momma is everything to him."

Erin nods. "Mr. LaMontagne, I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through."

"Is there any chance this isn't cancer?" Any chance of hope.

"There is always a chance Mr. LaMontagne." She smiles at you but speaks again. "There is always a small chance."

You are about to thank her when another alarm sounds, followed immediately by more and suddenly you watch as your wife suffers another violent seizure. The room is instantly flooded with staff all shouting commands and you feel arms on you, pulling you out of the room, away from your wife.

The last thing you hear before the door slams shut is Erin talking to JJ. Telling her to hang on.

****"Hang on, JJ." You whisper. "Please, hang on."


	3. Beep

**A/N: I am sooo super nervous about this chapter.. this is a very difficult story to write. Thank you for your support:**

The steady beeping of the machines, you have discovered, has become almost a reassurance. It means your wife is doing okay; by no means is she stable (as has been told to you numerous times by the staff) and she is still in critical condition. But the beeping is still there; and it is constant.

As the hours click by, and you hit the two day mark, the absolute magnitude of what is occurring begins to hit you. The shock is wearing off and you are able to think a bit more clearly; and regardless of the outcome of the biopsy, you are certain of one thing. You will never take another day for granted.

You try to recall everything that has been told to you, all the medical information; and it is downright overwhelming. It has been basically broken down for you into two categories, and each of those have subcategories

The first is that the tumor is benign, and it is everything you and everyone else are hoping for. JJ would still require extensive rehabilitation, and follow up for years to come; and there was no guarantee that she would ever be the same as she was. The medical team had reiterated numerous times that a brain tumor- malignant or not- is dangerous; and they cannot determine the extent of any damage done until JJ wakes up. And with the amount of pressure in her brain, and trauma done to the organ, the staff has placed her into a medically induced coma. You do not understand all of the medical terminology being tossed around, but find yourself trusting the staff to do what is best. What else can you do?

The second is something you try not to think about; the idea that the tumor is malignant. That JJ has cancer. You don't want to play the what if game right now, and have decided that regardless of the outcome, you will decide what to do then.

The team has been by, numerous times actually. There is rarely a moment when you are alone with JJ; and for that you are grateful.

Hotch seems to come by the most and you can see it in the experienced profiler's features; he is beyond worried about JJ. You had spoken with him about what had exactly happened and during that conversation you had learned so much; so much you had no clue had gone on.

He had told you what had occurred, just prior to the phone call. The team had all been out in the field, she, Morgan and Hotch had gone together to interview someone they thought was their UNSUB. They had been correct, and as they had searched the warehouse, their suspect took off running; the team following.

It was JJ who had found him, caught up to him, it was JJ who nearly had him, Hotch behind her. Then, it simply stopped. He had watched in horror as JJ suddenly stopped running and he caught her just as she simply collapsed to the ground.

He had told you how JJ, in his arms, had begun to seize, how the UNSUB didn't matter right then, how JJ, as he placed her on the floor turned a sickish color of white and blue.

"She stopped breathing, Will." Hotch had told you, "She just stopped breathing." He looked like you had never seen him before, Hotch actually looked terrified. "Morgan immediately called for an ambulance, we started CPR."

You hadn't imagined it being that bad, and all you could think to do was tell Hotch a simple thank you. A thank you for saving JJ's life; and you counted your lucky stars that he had been there.

"JJ." You lean over and rub her forehead, mindful of the tubes. "You keep fighting, love. The doctors are taking great care of you, and you are showing them who is boss." You cannot help but smile just looking at her. "I love you, JJ."

It is some hours later when Dr. Greer enters the room. You cannot take in all of the information that is being loaded off to you; it is simply too much. Words such as drain, medically induced coma, therapy, ventilation and a secondary surgery have all been mentioned to you in the last few minutes.

"Mr. LaMontagne?" You look up to see Dr. Greer looking down at you. "Are you following me?" She asks softly, somehow knowing she had lost you.

You shake your head, being honest with the now familiar doctor. "No." You glance back over at your wife and take her hand in your own. "No."

"That's okay, I gave you a lot of information." She reaches behind you and grabs a binder. "You do not need to look at it all right now, but it describes what Agent Jareau has been diagnosed with."

"I… I don't know what to do." You confess. "What do I do?"

She reaches over and hands you a tissue. "This is what I can tell you. When Agent Jareau was first brought into our ER, the physician was unable to stop the seizures. She ordered a CT and an MRI and that was when we discovered the large mass."

You nod. "The one you had to remove."

Dr. Greer nods again. "Yes. We initially went in hoping to remove all of it, unfortunately, Agent Jareau's condition rapidly deteriorated and we had to stop." She pauses and you realize she is making sure you are following her. You give her a nod, telling her to continue. "During the procedure, we were able to remove some of the tumor and we sent it off to biopsy."

You feel your heartbeat increase dramatically and what is about to come. "No." You find yourself shaking your head, already knowing the answer.

****"I'm so sorry." She tells you and all you can do is nod.


	4. What would she want

**A/N: For some reason, I cannot get over this sickness I have. I am exhausted all of the time and do not have the energy to write. So I am updating when I can! Hope you enjoy!**

You have elected to go for a walk, you have to. Reid volunteered to stay behind with JJ- and while at first you refused to leave, you soon realize you had to make a decision. And you had to make it soon.

You feel comfortable leaving JJ with Reid. Really, you feel comfortable leaving her with any member of the team. You consider them family just as much as JJ does; so much so that you have given permission for the hospital to provide any medical information to the team members.

And with the upcoming battle, you know you are going to need them, that JJ is going to need them.

Your JJ, your wife, has cancer. And it is as bad as it gets. And you replay the conversation with Dr. Greer your mind, over and over again. You cannot remember the exact words she used, but she was clear on two things.

The first being the absolutely horrific nature in what the Cancer was. It had been identified as glioblastoma - an extremely aggressive form of Cancer. And then it got worse when Dr. Greer had told you that JJ's particular tumor was a massive stage four. When she informed you that a second tumor had been found, you broke down.

And for the next hour, Dr. Greer sat with you; explaining your options. And you find yourself overwhelmed.

It was Reid who suggested breaking it down, prioritizing what needed to be done.

So you found yourself now, trying to make those decisions. And it is impossible. It isn't something you and JJ had ever discussed, and even though she is your wife; you have no idea what she would want.

So, after a long walk, coffee, and some thinking, you head back to JJ, and you have your answer to give to Dr. Greer. And can only hope it is what JJ would want.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"JJ, babe." You whisper, sitting down on the bed next to her. "I spoke with your doctors earlier today and you are very sick. There is a golf ball sized tumor growing on your brain." You reach over and gently touch her forehead, debating if you can voice what has been told to you. "It is  
causing the pressure in your brain to become dangerous, so the medical team here has elected to keep you in a medically induced coma- at least until the swelling goes down. They are doing everything they can to help you. They think the tumor and the swelling are causing your  
seizures; but have you on some anti seizure medicine now." You reach down and gently kiss her on her nose, smiling at the mere contact with her. "They want to take you back for a second surgery, to see if they can remove the rest of the tumor, while there they are going to start  
chemo." You cannot hold back the tears now. "You have a form of cancer called Glioblastoma, JJ. So, once I sign a piece of paper, the doctors here, Dr. Greer, is going to take you back to the OR and another doctor will be there, and they are going to inject the chemo right into the site of the tumor. I think Dr. Greer called it intra-operative chemo. It is the safest for you right now; and it will at least begin to start the treatment process."

You tuck a blanket around her, one that Henry gave you to give his mom. It is his favorite blanket, and one that, until now, he has never let out of his site. "I will be right back." You tell her, and step outside to sign the consent.

And as you do, you take a deep breath, hoping that this is what JJ would want. And with a few flicks of your wrist, you sign the paper, and give the medical team the consent to schedule surgery and begin chemotherapy. And pray that somehow, the cancer that everyone is calling fatal, spares your wife.


	5. Miss you

**A/N: I have a ton of people asking me if this will be a character death story. I do not want to spoil that, but if you want to know, PM me and I will tell you. Thanks for your reviews!**

You pace the halls, up and down, back and forth, waiting. For the second time in a week, your wife is having brain surgery. Brain surgery in an attempt to save her life.

You cannot remember how long it is has been since they took her back, you know, at the very least, it has been a few hours. Maybe more. And the only reason you know that is because of the setting sun outside; you had kissed her goodbye around noon; it had to be getting close to six- six thirty at night.

It is as you pass the cafeteria that your stomach suddenly growls loudly and reminds you that, despite not wanting to, you have to eat. To be able to take care of your JJ, your son, you need to somehow manage to take care of yourself.

Your son, Henry, your best buddy, has been kept away from the hospital, and hasn't seen his mother since all of this began. It has only been a few days, but to you, it feels like a lifetime. You wonder what it must feel like to Henry.

And then, because you have nothing else weighing on your mind, your heart sinks lower at the thought of your son. You haven't paid him any attention lately, and while you know he is in excellent hands, you desperately want to hold him. Dr. Greer had kindly advised you not to let Henry come see his mother just yet; she pointed out that it was flu season and the last thing JJ needed was exposure to the virus.

And with Henry in kindergarten, the flu was all but guaranteed to have been passed around his class. You hate it, but you do have to side with Dr. Greer on this one. Henry will have to wait to see his mother, but he doesn't have to wait to see you.

As you sit in the cafeteria, an idea suddenly pops into your head! You know JJ will be in surgery for a few more hours, so you definitely have time. You do not dare to leave the hospital, not now, but can still spend time with your son.

You make a number of quick phone calls. The first to Garcia. She has had Henry for the past few days, and you simply ask her to bring him up to you for you; she agrees without any hesitation.

The next you call all of JJ's team and ask them to come up to the hospital, to meet you in the cafeteria. Just like Garcia, they agree without hesitation; with questions. They simply say "of course."

The last call you make is for the local pizza place; just across the street from the hospital; and order twenty pizzas. As you hang up the phone, you do something you have found hard to do lately, you smile.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Daddy!" Thirty minutes later you hear the sound of your son's voice and you stand up just as he launches himself into your arms. The team of FBI agents are right behind him.

"Hey buddy!" You hug him tight, nodding at each member as they surround you. "Thanks for coming guys." You motion for them to have a seat. "Pizza will be here in a few minutes."

They all mumble about how hungry they are, or how they have been craving pizza as they take a seat next to you. Not one person mentions the horrible situation in which brought everyone here, instead they all talk about happy things. And they are all about JJ.

"Remember she accidently took the Nyquil instead of the Dayquil?" Morgan laughs as he takes a box from the pizza guy and passes it down the table.

It goes on for at least another two hours, you, your son, and the team laughing and smiling, as you eat pizza. You have saved a few boxes, intending on taking them upstairs to the ICU staff.

"Daddy?" You look at your son who has crawled up on your lap. "I need to go potty." He whispers in your ear.

"Alright bud. Excuse us for a second." You excuse you and your son from the table, and take his hand. It is perfect timing, and after your son does his business, you take his hand and lead him down the hospital hallway.

"Where are we going?" Henry skips beside you, completely unaware of the awful situation that is tearing his family apart.

"To the gift shop. Think you can pick up a few presents for me?"

"Oh yah! I like doing that!" Henry responds and runs ahead and into the shop.

In the end, you have spent a lot more money than you intended to. But as Henry walks down the hall with a flower in his hand and a stuffed elephant in the other, you know it was worth it.

"Here, Aunt P!" Henry runs up to his aunt and hands her the flower. "Thank you for taking care of me." He places a kiss on her cheek and then proceeds to give another flower to Blake.

"Sorry, guys." You look at the male team members. "I didn't think flowers were your thing." You tell them. "I owe you a beer."

It's another hour later when the pager in your hands buzzes, signaling your JJ is out of surgery.

"Daddy." You hear your son wake up from your arms as you hand him over to Garcia.

"Yes, bud?"

"Here. Give it to momma." He hands the stuff elephant over to you. "I miss her."

You bite your cheek and hug him. "Me too."


	6. Seize

**A/N: Thank you for all of your support:**

You had gone home for the night, on the premise that Blake would be staying with JJ. You didn't realize how exhausted you were until you got home, put Henry in your bed, and turned on a movie. You had the full intentions of watching Monsters University with him, but as soon as your head hit the pillow, you were out.

You wake up fourteen hours later and immediately jump out of bed, in a slight panic. You have been away from the hospital way too long and a million worst-case scenarios immediately run through your mind.

"Henry!" You call as you frantically dig through your sheets. "Henry, where is my phone?" You panic, desperate to find the device.

"Daddy?" You hear him run into into the room. "Here! I was playing birds!" He hands you the phone and you grab it from him, looking for any missed calls or texts. You find none.

"Thank you, Henry." You don't realize you are out of breath until you reach down and hug him. "You ready to go to Aunt Garcia's?"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

You walk into the ICU and place a dozen donuts down at the nurses station, you have nothing that can express your gratitude towards the staff, but figure you can try with donuts.

"Hey Will." You turn and see Amelia, one of the nurses, smiling at you. "She did great, no problems. But she does have a visitor!"

You stop and look at Amelia. "Who?" You ask, not sure who it could be.

She shrugs. "Not sure, I haven't seen her before, she said she used to work with JJ. Agent Blake vouched for her."

You smile, immediately knowing who it is. "Thanks. Amelia." JJ will love her visitor, you know she will and as you step into the ICU room, you watch as the visitor sits there, talking to your wife.

"Hi Emily." You say after a few minutes.

"Will!" She jumps up. "I am so sorry." You almost see it, you sort of see the beginnings of tears in her eyes, but she is good and quickly stops them.

You shake your head. "Thank you."

You and Emily talk for a while, about her new job, about Henry, the team, and mostly, you talk about JJ. Her condition, your fears, the uncertainty, you talk about everything. And it is wonderfully refreshing.

"She misses you." You tell Emily.

"I miss her too," Emily replies as you both look over JJ. "How bad is it, Will?"

You admire her for that; she doesn't beat around the bush, she shoots straight. You swallow and nod your head before looking down. "It is not good, Emily. She has stage four glioblastoma-" You run your hands over your face, "it's a form of brain cancer."

"Does she know?" Emily asks you as she tucks the blanket around JJ, rubbing JJ's arm in the process.

You shake your head. "No. She hasn't regained consciousness since they brought her in."

You are about to continue when you look down and notice the familiar shaking starting up. "No." You say, hearing the alarms start blaring. "Amelia!" You scream, panic setting in as another violent seizure reaks havoc on your wife's weak body.

And you don't know why, but you know this seizure is different.

The alarms are screaming as the shaking grows more and more violent, two more nurses pour into the room. You only are able to pick up on some of the orders being shouted, and you heart drops when you see the doctor rush into the room.

"BP is 180/100." Amelia says as she and the others work to make sure JJ does not hurt herself. The scene is chaotic and you can only pick up on so many things.

More monitors are blaring, JJ is still seizing and you watch as the doctor quickly injects something into her IV. The seizing doesn't stop.

"Is anyone timing this?" The doctor asks, glancing up at the monitor and back to JJ.

"Going on three minutes." Amelia's hands are gently on JJ's head, not restraining her, but preventing any further injury.

"Shit." You hear one of them say and watch as they move closer to JJ's head. Another round of medicine is sent through her IV and you see no results. And for a terrifying minute, you realize that this could be it. That your wife could die.

When you hear a horrible hissing sound, you look up to see that the ventilator has been removed and instead a bag has been placed over JJ's mouth connecting the bag to the tube that is still in her throat. The chaos in the room grows as the seizure continues and you walk up to your wife, finding a tiny spot. You want to be there in case this is the end.

"JJ." You press your hand to her head and cringe at the amount of sweat and heat pouring off of her. "C'mon, JJ." You plead, as the nurses rip the blankets away from her and you see her body, her muscles jumping along with the seizure. Your heart is breaking. "Do something!" You command the doctors and nurses. "Please! DO something!"

"We are!" The doctor leans over and shines his penlight into your wife's eyes. "Damn it, blown pupil! Call neurosurgery, page Dr. Greer." He suddenly announces. and you are pushed out of the way as JJ is taken from you again.

You can only sink against the wall, onto the floor, with your head in your hands. It's not even a moment later that you feel Emily behind you, sitting down next to you. And she simply takes your hand as you pull your knees up, unable to cry any more. And you have to wonder if you did this to JJ. If by allowing the surgery, you did this, caused more suffering.

And when Amelia comes back into the room, sweating and exhausted, you are not even sure what to ask, and look up at her begging for answers. All she does is kneel down beside you, with tears in her eyes.


	7. Green

**A/N: Oh man, my heart goes out to the families and victims of that missing airplane. **

Green. That's all you can see right now.

Green is JJ's favorite color. When you asked her why she gave you a half ass answer. But you pushed a bit and found out why. JJ had explained that the color green reminded her so much of her sister, of Rosaline. Apparently, the two of them used to attend summer camp and would spend hours upon hours outside; hiking, soccer, swimming, horseback riding.

You connected it immediatly, green reminded JJ of her sister.

And now, that is all you can see. Amelia is in front of you, she is wearing green scrubs, that match her green eyes. And at the only thing you can think of is what that awful color means. At least to you.

It is your least favorite color, green now, in your mind, means death.

"Will?" You look up and finally make eye contact with Amelia.

"Is she?" You whisper, your voice is shaking, your hands are shaking.

"No." Amelia smiles. "Dr. Greer met us, we got her into surgery." She smiles at you.

You let go of the breath you didn't know you had been holding. "What caused it?" You ask, thankful that Emily is by your side. A while ago, one of the social workers had recommended to always bring another person along with you when it came to important medical information; citing that you will only hear half of it before emotion kicks in. Thank God for Emily.

Amelia looks away. "I cannot be certain, but Dr. Greer seems to think that the pressure in JJ's brain became to dangerously high; it caused the seizure." She pauses and offers a small smile. "We did get it to stop, just as we got into the OR."

You swallow and say the only words you can think of. "Thank you."

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

You are still in the ICU room when Dr. Greer walks in. She isn't wearing her lab coat, her hair is matted to her face and you see that she has changed into green scrubs instead of her normal business attire.

You jump up and rush her, desperate for any information.

"Dr. Greer.."

"She made it." She gives you the information you desperately needed to hear. "The pressure in her brain became too high and we had to alleviate it. We placed a shunt that will help do just that."

"A shunt?"

"It is basically a drain, a tube that removes excess fluid from her brain. It should help with the seizures."

You nod, you just want to know one thing. "When can I see her?"

Dr. Greer smiles at you. "Go home, take a shower, get something to eat. When you come back, she will be all set for you to see."

"I can't leave her." You shake your head.

She doesn't say anything for a moment. "My shift is done. I will stay by her side until you get back."

"You don't have to.."

****She looks to you and then to Emily and you are not sure what is going on and are too tired to think too hard about it. "I do. I owe Agent Jareau my life."


	8. Hope

**A/N: March 18 marks the tenth anniversary of my abduction. This is a very, very difficult time of year for me, so my stories might not be updated as often; they might become darker.. just FYI. Thank you all for your support and reviews. Enjoy:**

You do not need a calendar to know precisely how long it's been since you first got that dreaded phone call. You have it down to the minute; it has been exactly two weeks, eight hours, and thirty seven minutes since Hotch called you about the seizure that started this nightmare.

It has been longer since you you last saw your wife open her beautiful eyes, heard her laugh, or held her as she hugged back.

It has been a long time; and you want nothing more than to have all of that back.

"Good morning, baby." You can't help but smile as you take your familiar seat by her side. "I spoke with Amelia and she said you are doing great! She is really proud of you- we all are." You reach over and grab the brush from the bedside table before you begin gently running it through her hair. "Don't worry, JJ. I am making sure they are washing your hair." You joke, remembering how much JJ would obsess about her hair being tidy. "It looks gorgeous."

You spend the next hour talking to her about every topic; the weather, Henry, the team, football. Anything and everything that you can think of comes up; except the one thing you cannot voice yet.

The fact that your wife has cancer. You do not want to give her anything that may prevent her from ever opening her eyes again; so you have instituted a positive only approach when speaking to JJ. The only thing she hears from you, will be positive.

"I was talking with Dr. Greer the other day and she was telling me how she had met you before. Do you remember her, JJ?" You smile thinking about what Dr. Greer had told you. "It was a few years ago, apparently she had started dating this man who she had met dated for about a year when he finally popped the question. She was so excited." You tell her. "She loved him, JJ, she trusted him with every ounce of her soul. Then, suddenly, he got violent, hit her over the head with a shovel. When she woke up, she was locked in a basement. He refused to let her go; she was there for four days. She was ready to give up, JJ. When that door opened, and she saw you walk down the stairs. She said she knew that in that moment, she would be okay." You pause. "Apparently, her husband was standing behind her the entire time. He shot at you and Dr. Greer was certain you had been hit; but she didn't know what an incredible shot you are. You dropped him cold, JJ." You feel your heart swell with pride as you remember the story; "You saved her life."

It's another few hours when you decide to go downstairs for lunch; the nurses have kicked you out, saying they needed to bathe JJ. It is when you get back, that you drop your coffee and rush to JJ's room, seeing the amount of staff piled inside. Immediately, you presume the worst.

"JJ!" You push past the staff; and as you look at them you realize it isn't so much the nurses but a team of doctors. "Who the hell are you?" You demand.

Dr. Greer steps forward. "Will, they are interns, we were just doing our rounds." She offers an explanation and you feel your anger growing.

You shake your head as your look back at JJ. "No, she isn't some sort of science project. You don't get to just come in and look at her,"

"Will.." Dr. Greer ushers the interns out, respecting your decision.

"No! She is dying and you bring in students to invade her privacy.." Your anger grows to an unbelievable magnitude, especially when you see Dr. Greer push past you.

But when you turn to yell at her, everything melts away. Dr. Greer is at JJ's side, her pen light is out and she is shining it in JJ's eyes. "JJ, my name is Dr. Greer, we are here." And you can barely see it, but it is there. JJ's hand is moving.

"Is she?" You whisper.

****Dr. Greer nods. "She is." You swear you see tears in her eyes. "It'll be a while still, but JJ is starting to come back to you."


	9. One Fine Day

**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!**

You thought raising a young child was a testament to your patience, you thought being married to a federal agent did the same thing. Both paled in comparison to the test of patience you were currently enduring.

Four days ago, ninety six hours ago, Dr. Greer had smiled at you and told you that your wife was starting to wake up; you had no idea that it would take this long. In every television show you have watched, the comatose patient wakes up quickly and all goes back to normal. They can talk, and breathe on their own, smile, and eat.

And while you know nothing will go back to normal, you still have a faint hope that some part of JJ will still be there when she opens her eyes.

"Hey beautiful," You speak to her, smiling as she seems to adjust herself in the bed. It's a little movement, something that use to be insignificant. Now, its a momentous step forward. "It's morning."

"Hi Will," You look up to see Dr. Greer enter the room. "There is coffee and donuts in the break room." She tells you as she approaches JJ. "You know the code."

It's true, you know the code to almost every door on the floor. The staff knows you and JJ, and protects the both of you like family.

"Thanks." You smile at her watching as she goes about her normal exam.

"Hi JJ," She begins and you step back, allowing the skilled doctor to work. You love how gentle she is with your JJ; how no matter what she does, she never inflicts pain. "I heard something from the nurses, about what you did in the middle of the night."

Your head snaps up and you look at the doctor; what had happened and why weren't you told?

"They told me you kept trying to move around pretty good while they were trying to give you your bath." You see Dr. Greer smile and know that your smile is ten times bigger.

Wait! JJ moved more?

"So lets see what you can do." You watch as Dr. Greer grabs JJ's left hand in her own. "Okay, JJ, can you squeeze my hand?" She asks and while you cannot see it, the reaction from Dr. Greer you know JJ did well. "Alright smarty pants," Dr. Greer switches sides, this time to her right side. "Try it with this side." You wait and watch for signs, knowing JJ will show Dr. Greer what's up.

And when you see nothing, your smile disappears.

"JJ, can you squeeze my hand?" Dr. Greer asks again. "Okay, lets try it this way. JJ, can you move your fingers on your left hand." This time, Dr. Greer isn't touching JJ, just giving directions. "Hey! Good job!" Dr. Greer praises JJ, and then switches back. "Now try it on the other hand."

There is no movement.

You have lost track of time, but know it's getting close to lunch. You are starving. And while you try and ignore it, you cannot help it, you have to eat.

"Okay beautiful, I need to run to the cafeteria and get something to eat. Don't run away on me." You bend down to kiss her and stop.

Her eyes are open.

"JJ?" You brush her hair out of her eyes. "Hi baby." You whisper to her, afraid to even blink. You hit the nurse call button as you keep your gaze fixated on her. "Welcome back, I missed you." You kiss her again, laughing as you wipe the tears from her face. "I'm sorry, baby," You tell her, before wiping your eyes to stop the tears from falling.

Suddenly, there is a rush of activity and you find yourself being pulled back and away from the love of your life. Nurses and doctors are all around you and JJ, but the pace is peaceful, not the typical frantic that you have become use to.

But when you see one of the nurses walking in with what looks like restraints, you push back up to her. "What are you doing?" You demand seeing her hand the restraints over to the other nurses.

"We have to restrain her Will." She answers calmly.

"Why?" You demand, looking down to see JJ's eyes closed again, but one nurse holding her left hand down.

"She keeps trying to pull out her breathing tube, Will. Until she wakes up, we needs to do this, the last thing we want her to do is rip out her tube." They explain and you nod, not knowing what else to do.

"Will." You look up and see Dr. Greer. "It's a good thing."

All you can do is trust her; trust her and believe in your wife. And you do, with all your heart.


	10. Breathe

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, this chapter is short but it is so so important! Thanks for reading, please review!**

You are at a bar, drinking yourself into oblivion. You are beyond frustrated, scared, hurt, angry, devastated. Annoyed. You want your life back; you don't want to feel like you are walking on eggshells, that you are dependent on your cell phone, that you ignore your son. You want

everything to go back to normal, and you want it desperately.

And you know it will never happen; because regardless of how this turns out the fact will forever remain that JJ has cancer.

And the horrible thought finally enters your mind, and even though you have been fighting to keep it away- you find yourself unable to fight it anymore. What are you going to do if JJ dies? What are you and Henry going to do?

You cannot raise him yourself, there is no way. You cannot possibly do everything JJ does for your boy; you don't know how to sing for him, or know when he needs to go see a doctor or if it's just a cold. You don't know how to make muffins in the morning, or pick out clothes that look nice but can hold up and take a beating.

It's overwhelming and tears sting your eyes as the thought stays with you.

You are sipping on your third beer when your phone rings. "Shit!" You curse to yourself as you pat your pockets for the device. You panic when you cannot find it, but a glowing light on the floor catches your attention.. but as you bend down to grab it, the floor seems to jump up at you and you find yourself eating the floor.

Your face hits the phone, and the thing shatters. And you sit there, staring at it; before you put your face into your hands. And cry.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You wander into the hospital hours later, you are swaying side to side, as the hallway seems to shift in front of you. You spent far too long at the bar, but you are feeling better; a lot better than you have in weeks.

"Hey Hotch!" You wave as you see the man standing outside of JJ's room.

"Will?" His voice is soft, different and he walks towards you.

"Hotch, man, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be gone so long." You tell him.

"How much have you had to drink, Will?" He asks and you shake your head.

"Not much."

"Your drunk, Will." He tells you and his next movement sends your temper flying. He blocks you from entering JJ's room. "No. Go home, I will call a cab."

"What the hell, Hotch!" You try and push past him but he is stronger and much more coordinated than you right now.

"Will!" He raises his voice a bit. "Listen. Go home, you cannot let her see you like this!"

And you stop, his words hitting you like a train. "Wait.. what?"

Hotch smiles. "We've been trying to call you Will. JJ woke up. She's awake Will."

And for the first time in weeks, you feel you can breathe.


End file.
